Before and after the marriage

Chapter 2: Choice by sight and insight

Gen. 24:1-32
Marriage issue is one of the greatest problems in the world today because it has to do not just with one person, but with two that will give birth to children to form a generation in the nation but, to those who are open and recognizes Gods opinion in their marriages, He directs and escapes them from future disaster. It is not bad to make mistake, but continuity of that same mistake made, is what is bad.
God has created in man the will power and the ability to make choices. There are two kinds of choices: the choice by sight (which is human and its void of revelation) and the choice by insight (which is revelation). When it comes to marital issues, one needs to go by insight.

Finding

Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour from the Lord (Prov. 18:22)

In the course of finding, if it is by sight(human selection), one is bound to make mistake, the elasticity of that relationship is not guaranteed, there will be no Heavenly backing, all that is needed to keep the relationship ongoing can never be received of the couple. If it is by sight, one shouldn’t expect to prevail in the days of trials or temptations because at first, God was not invited or sought for into the affairs; it will take extra energy (void of God’s grace) to keep the relationship going when it is by sight (human selection).
The one who does not know the future disaster that God had saved him or her from when God directs or instructs him or her, mourns, or goes sad because of the temporary pain he or she goes through for a greater joy of tomorrow; but if he or she chooses to ignore Gods instructions or directives because he or she has no or less insight of what God has for him or her, let him or her do the otherwise; and then, he or she will have to face greater mourning and mockery that he or she cannot recover his or herself from.
Marriage should not be all about you;
God’s purpose or interest is what should be looked into.
To the wise who understands the purpose of God for him or her, he or she
Rejoices because he or she has been saved from future disaster.

The reason for set-back, sorrow, bitterness, frustration e.t.c in life, is as a result of the ignorance of men over what they set themselves on motion to do or achieve not knowing what will become of them; but if you are fortunate to be interrupted by God, and you adhere to it, give thanks to God because your future joy and peace will flow like a river (Is. 48: 17-18). There is a misconception concerning marriage in the Christendom that God no longer makes choice of life partner for man. A lot of marriages are taken to the altar but the God of the altar is not involved or present in their marriages, He wasn’t involved or invited into the marriage; it was by sight (your choice). God ought not to be blame in the case of marital divorce but man because it was Him who ordained marriage originally but if He is not the one who chooses your partner for you, then, who is to be, blames when it is faced with divorce? The first thing that is needed for anyone who wants to get married is to seek the face of God because not every man or woman is met for you and if you happen to get the wrong one, you’ll suffer in pain. Entering into a marriage shouldn’t be by sight but by insight (revelation) in order for you not to say “HAD I KNOW”. In entering into marriage, one should know too well that we are coming under a head; the head is a covering and whom we take directives from. In every marriage there is a day that the love of that marriage will be tested. When you do everything to maintain your garden, God will give you a backing. If you’ll enter into a marriage, be careful not to go by sight but by insight.

Prejudice

Prejudice can be defined as any pre-conceived opinion or feelings wither positive or negative.
Prejudice out of the directives of the HolySpirit leads to mishap (an accident, mistake or problem). Having something based on negative prejudice will cause you pain. Prejudice is very bad if it is not by the HolySpirit and if you are moved by it to clear shame, you can never be satisfied. At the moment you might not know the harm you have done to yourself because, you are under the influence of negative prejudice.
Learn from others their positive parts,
And not their negative parts.
Insatiable (not satisfied) is the result
Of one been influenced by negative prejudice.
Prejudice by self and not by the HolySpirit is what is killing many ministers and ‘so-called believers’. Why ‘so-called believers’? This is because they don’t follow the dictates of the HolySpirit but by self.
No marriages lectures will put right a wrong relationship or marriage. No matter how you try to apply the knowledge gained, you will keep on stressing yourself because, because both of you are not compactable.
What is not meant to be can never be;
It is like trying to force the wrong cork
On a wrong bottle.
In the course of taking or making life decision, check it well if it is right with God’s plans or purpose for your life and if you don’t know God’s purpose for your life, find it out. Don’t live your life by men’s opinion and if you will ever do, weigh it with the word of God.

Timing

When it is time, you will see everything will fall into place, but when it is not time and one has waited and your waiting has expired and you are tired and wants to marry and settle down, you will end up becoming the problem to yourself.
It is better to be late and get the best than to be in haste and have the assumed best and then later it will then become ‘HAD I KNOWN’. When you lacks the grace to wait, it will not be possible for you to wait for God‘s timing. To those who are believers, the ability for them to say yes to the yes of God, is what makes them a believer; although, it is painful to separate yourself from what you have given yourself to. Choice by insight is the best and if you have found any by sight (human), submit the list to God and let Him do the selection for you without you having any choice specifically in your heart.

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